


Crush ... Crushed

by Lukutoukka



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Age Difference, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, Unhealthy Relationships, but like they try to make it... healthy-ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 03:40:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17276408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lukutoukka/pseuds/Lukutoukka
Summary: Dex comes to Samwell with three big duffel bags, two big bags with hockey gear, one big crush on Jack Laurent Zimmermann, and no boyfriend.





	Crush ... Crushed

**Author's Note:**

> Ngozi mentioned somewhere that all the frogs are born in 1996, Dex and Chowder at a time which would make them 17 when coming to Samwell. I have elected to ignore that and pretend they're born in autumn 1995 instead. Which still leaves us with an age difference of five-ish years.
> 
> Big <3 to Denois and Sav for giving this a read!

Dex comes to Samwell with three big duffel bags, two big bags with hockey gear, one big crush on Jack Laurent Zimmermann, and no boyfriend.

_ One in four or more _ , they’d said, Bitty had baked for them on the prospect tour and Dex is really looking forward to a bigger, uh, “dating” pool than he was used to, and the possibility of queer friends.

Instead, the team is a bit of a disappointment.

Sure, Bitty and Nursey have “gay talks” all the time, comparing their experiences – or lack thereof: Neither of them had had a boyfriend before, or had hooked up. Dex had tried to join them once or twice, but they’d dismissed him as a “straight white boy” and never really gave him the chance to talk. For some reason, they never have a problem with Shitty, Chowder, Ransom and Holster joining, though. (Well, Ransom and Chowder aren’t white, but as far as Dex is aware, they’re all straight. Mostly straight, at least.)

Lardo is his rock, catching his eye sometimes when they’re being particularly bad about something, rolling her eyes at him. She takes him out for coffee once or twice and offers to introduce him to people, take him to a party or two. He takes her up on it, once, following her to an artsy party, but it isn’t his kind of crowd at all – too pretentious. Nonetheless, he ends up leaving with a cute guy: blonde, lanky, a piercing in his eyebrow and one in his tongue, which makes for very interesting sensations indeed. 

The next morning, Chowder skates up to him and quietly chirps him about his taste in guys and that’s that.

They’re at it again after a tough game against Harvard, and Dex can’t listen to them anymore. They’re discussing the parallels of eating someone out and giving a blow job, for fuck’s sake, when Dex knows, with relative certainty, that the only person with any authority on the topic is Lardo, who isn’t even there – just about everyone else in the group has either done one, but not the other, or neither, which isn’t stopping any of them.

Dex flees into the relative quiet and darkness of the kitchen, leaning against the wall next to the refrigerator, eyes closed, head tipped back.

He startles a little when someone asks: “You okay, Poindexter?”

Dex doesn’t bother opening his eyes before answering. “For a group that claims to be so woke, they’re sure quick dismissing someone as straight.”

He’s not quite sure what exactly it is he’s expecting Jack’s reaction to be, but it isn’t Jack chuckling and agreeing with him. He’s surprised enough that he opens his eyes, stares at Jack.

The way Dex leans against the wall means Jack’s a little taller, and he’s certainly a little heavier, already grown into his body in a way that Dex hasn’t yet, and as small as these differences are, in this moment they’re making Dex squirm and blush.

If he’d felt wizened and experienced in comparison to Nursey and Bitty earlier, now he suddenly feels the way he did around his first boyfriend.

The corner of Jack’s mouth twitches upwards.

Later, Dex isn’t quite sure how exactly it happens, remembers Jack telling him that he can always back out, that he’s the one calling the shots here and this is just – friends helping each other out, right? 

And then, then they’re in Jack’s room and Jack is pulling off his t-shirt and Dex might die just a little bit. He resurrects himself quickly though, to get his hands on Jack’s bare skin, dragging his hands up along Jack’s sides, across his chest, and finally to interlace his fingers behind Jack’s neck. 

Jack looks like a statue of a greek god, only more hairy and warm, and getting his hands on him is exciting, a little intoxicating and he does feel a little stupid just smoothing his hands over Jack’s chest, but Jack is looking at him with a serious face, just letting him do his thing and while that should be unnerving, it’s actually strangely grounding.

Dex pulls Jack in to kiss him, and Jack comes willingly, answers the kiss slow and methodically, his hands coming up to rest on Dex’s waist, thumbs creeping under Dex’s t-shirt.

Dex forgets himself a little, melts into the kiss, forgets about anything else for a bit.

Until he remembers that he is kissing  _ Jack Zimmermann _ . A  _ shirtless _ Jack Zimmermann who gave him  _ explicit permission to touch _ .

So he touches.

Jack’s hair, with one hand. 

All along the muscles in Jack’s back, dipping down into the valley of his spine, down, down until he cups Jack’s ass, with the other hand.

Jack deepens the kiss just a little when he does that, one of his hands wandering down to Dex’s ass, the other upwards, along Dex’s side, pulling his shirt up with it.

Dex grabs Jack’s ass with both of his hands, pulls him a little closer, and Jack bites down on his lower lip, just a little, and they stop kissing, pressed together from chest to knees, both of them breathing a little heavier than before.

“You sure about this?” Jack asks, and Dex nods, manages a “yeah.”

“Good,” Jack says, and tugs on Dex’s t-shirt. “Then take this off.”

Dex takes his shirt off.

***

The intensity Jack has about hockey also translates into his bed.

It translates, Dex learns, spread out on the bed with his dick in Jack’s mouth,  _ very well _ into bed. Even if it means that Jack is disgustingly coordinated after Dex blew him, but whatever. It was a great blowjob.

Speaking of...

“Hey Jack,” he says, because while he’s never going to say  _ no _ to a blowjob, or at least doesn’t see himself doing so anytime soon, he much prefers giving to receiving. And right now, Jack feels too far away. 

Jack licks along the whole length of Dex’s dick, kisses the head, which should be cheesy or strange or both but somehow is neither, and looks up at Dex. Dex grabs for Jack’s biceps, pulls a little.

“Come up here,” he says, and Jack comes easily, covering Dex’s body with his own, even if he keeps most of his weight off of him, kisses Dex easily when Dex gets his other hand in Jack’s hair again and that’s more like it.

Dex tells Jack so. Then he proceeds to tell Jack that he really prefers having Jack above him like this, that he wants to feel Jack’s weight above him, because he learnt very quickly that Jack  _ really _ likes it when he’s blunt. And since he’s already talking, he maybe adds a fantasy or two.

Jack groans and shifts his weight so more of it rests on Dex, pins Dex down and Dex really can’t stop himself from thrusting his hips up against Jack at that. And because that’s pretty great, he does it again. And again.

Jack grins down at him and manages to get a hand around Dex’s dick, tells Dex all the things he’s welcome to do, and Dex comes with a groan between them.

He stays the night.

***

Dex wakes up the next morning to Jack snoring next to him, both of them precariously close to the edge of the bed, and spends the next couple of minutes quietly freaking out. Kind of.

It’s not like he didn’t know what he got himself into, last night, but it feels different in the soft morning light that filters through the curtains that aren’t closed completely. 

Heavier, maybe.

Realer, for sure.

He had his hands on Jack Zimmermann’s ass. He  _ blew _ Jack Zimmermann. 

The guy who was the reason he took highschool French, chose Samwell. Well, part of the reason he chose Samwell.

He’s startled out of his thoughts by Jack’s hand on his thigh. He’d been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Jack waking up, rolling over on his side.

“I can hear you thinking, Dex,” Jack says and Dex rolls over on his side and wrinkles his nose at Jack, smiles a little. “Wanna tell me what you’re thinking about?”

“Tu es la raison pourquoi j’ai étudié le français au lycée,” Dex answers and grins at Jack. Jack does not grin back.

“Dex,” he says, very serious. “Dex, what is this for you?”

Dex drops his grin. “Uh,” he says. “A one time thing? Friends with benefits?”

Jack’s eyes go a little softer. “Oh.”

“Like,” Dex starts, feels a ramble coming on, but is unable to stop himself. “I don’t know, I wasn’t under the impression that we’re relationship material. But I figured it might be more than once? If it’s not too weird for you? I mean, it’s a little a crush thing for me, but it won’t get in the way, promise. Or we could just, like, get out of bed and forget about last night, I guess, if you want that? I wouldn’t hold –”

“Dex, stop.”

Dex stops.

“If you say you’re okay with this, we can do this again. Just – it can get complicated, mixing a crush with sex.”

Dex nods. “Promise I’ll tell if it does?”

Jack gives him a long look, and Dex isn’t sure what it is he’s looking for, but whatever it his, he seems to pass muster, because Jack nods and leans in to kiss him. 

Jack’s hand is slowly inching upwards underneath Dex’s boxers and Jack is very seriously trying to kill Dex with every sweep of his tongue and perfectly timed application of teeth, when something occurs to Dex and he pulls back a little.

“Question,” he says, and Jack’s hand in his boxers stills. “Can I tell people about this? Like, I’m not planning to take out an ad in The Swallow, but I don’t want to not talk about it, if that’s okay?”

The corner of Jack’s mouth twitches a little, and it’s obviously an effort for him not to laugh.

“What?”

“With the context of last night, The Swallow sounds like a very different kind of paper,” Jack says, tone teasing. It takes Dex a second to make the connection, but then he groans in faux chagrin and Jack starts to chuckle into Dex’s collarbone. Dex can’t really help but laugh as well, even as he feels his face turn hot.

Jack gets serious again pretty quickly though and he looks at Dex as he answers. “Yeah, you can tell people. Just–”

“Not people who’ll run to the media or something, yeah,” Dex finishes. “I don’t exactly need the gay label publicly attached to my name either, as long as professional hockey is still, y’know, kind of on the table…” He trails off a little and avoids looking directly at Jack.

Or tries to at least, but Jack gets one of his hands around Dex’s chin and tips his face so he kind of has to look at Jack.

“They’d be stupid if they didn’t see your talent,” Jack tells him and Dex smiles a little, takes a deep breath.

“Alright, so…” He isn’t quite sure where he wants to go from there. Jack helps out by setting his teeth on Dex’s collarbone, not quite biting, before asking: “Can I leave marks?”

Dex nods. “Yeah. Can I?”

“Sure,” Jack says, and starts sucking a love bite right above Dex’s collarbone, hands and hips pressing Dex into the mattress, and Dex figures it’s only fair play to get his hands on Jack’s booty.

***

Unsurprisingly, Dex gets chirped endlessly for the marks Jack left when the others notice them after practice, but he isn’t particularly ruffled. Can’t help that he turns bright red when he thinks about the night before, but he keeps his cool. Mostly.

It’s maybe a little harder to keep his cool when Shitty notices the mark Dex left high on Jack’s thigh and all the attention shifts from chirping Dex to chirping Jack, who looks unmoved by all the attention and chirping.

“She didn’t use those teeth on your dick, I hope,” Shitty says and fine, maybe Dex had been a little too liberal with his teeth on Jack’s thigh, but Jack had liked it. A lot. So there.

“Nah,” Jack says and catches Dex’s eye from across the room. “Perfect usage of teeth, actually. Can’t complain at all.”

“A regular thing?” Someone asks.

“I think it will be. And I’m really looking forward to it.” Which of course is an answer that warrants endless catcalls and whistles from the rest of the team. Dex very carefully does not look at Jack.

Instead he catches Chowder’s eyes – sharp eyes, already looking at him.

Which is how Dex ends up telling Chowder about the whole thing over coffee at Annie’s. (Well. He doesn’t go into details, or anything. Broad strokes.) When he’s finished talking, Chowder studies him for a while over the rim of his coffee cup.

“First of all,” he finally starts, “thank you for trusting me with that. Second, as your friend  _ and teammate _ , I kinda gotta ask… Is this really a good idea? Sleeping with your crush who’s your team captain?”

Dex shrugs. “I promised to tell if it gets weird?”

Chowder makes a face at him. “I think you mean  _ when _ it gets weird, Dex.”

“Noted,” Dex says, and makes a face right back at Chowder. “So, how’s it going with Farmer? Still good?”

Chowder sighs at that blatant change of topic, but he also loves talking about Farmer and apparently is willing to drop the topic, at least for now, so Dex counts it as a win. 

***

It’s not like they explicitly talk about it, but neither Dex nor Jack tells anyone else on the team. It would probably make things weird, Dex thinks, as he watches a pretty drunk Bitty mumble into his solo cup about Jack’s everything. Despite Bitty’s (and Nursey’s) unwillingness to include Dex in their gay talks (although admittedly, Dex hadn’t tried particularly hard after being shot down the first time), they’ve managed to become friends and somehow Dex doesn’t think him sleeping with Jack would go over particularly well with Bitty.

It’s also not a very regular thing, often just once or maybe twice a month, when the stars align just so and it’s absolutely not weird. 

(Chowder continues to look unimpressed, whenever the topic comes up.) 

So they manage to keep it quiet. Besides that one time Dex runs into Lardo in Jack’s and Shitty’s bathroom, that is. Looking back, it’s hilarious, but opening the door to the bathroom wearing nothing more than his left sock to find an almost naked Lardo walking into the room from Shitty’s side had been anything but hilarious at the time. They’d frozen on the spot, until Lardo said –

“We’ll turn around and pretend this never happened?”

“Deal!” Dex had answered and basically ran back into Jack’s room. Jack had looked at him quizzically, but Dex only shook his head.

Anyway, the rest of the team continues to be absolutely oblivious, which is either a wonder or deliberate on their part, because how they all miss that Dex and Jack tend to turn up in the locker room with marks on the same day is a mystery to Dex. 

He’s pretty certain that at least one or two people on the team know what’s going on by the time February rolls around and it finally gets weird.

They have the day off because they played a game the evening before and Dex uses to opportunity to get some quality masturbating in. Taking his time, fingering himself, teasing himself and thinking about Jack fucking him open. It’s pretty damn great.

Until he’s taking a shower afterwards, thinking about whether or not Jack might be down to fuck him and it dawns on him that maybe, quite possibly, having penetrative sex for the first time ever  _ with Jack _ isn’t the brightest idea he’s had.

He doesn’t need to bring it up with Jack to know that Jack would not be on board with the idea.

***

“It’s gotten weird,” Dex tells Chowder later that day over coffee. Chowder sighs, but doesn’t say  _ I told you so _ . Dex appreciates that.

“You want to talk about it?” Chowder asks and Dex squirms a little.

“Yeah,” he says. “But uh. It’s uh…”

“Explicit?”

“Yeah…”

“What a surprise,” Chowder says, and ushers Dex out of Annie’s and back to his room. “So,” he says once they’re both settled down again. “Tell me how it got weird. As explicitly as needed.”

Dex takes a deep breath, before rushing it all out. “I kind of really want Jack to fuck me, but it’d be my, y’know, first time and all and it’s probably a bad idea and also I don’t think Jack would be down for it either way.”

Chowder stares at Dex and turns bright red, but seems otherwise unmoved.

Dex sighs. “I gotta tell Jack, no?”

“I seem to remember you promising you would, yes,” Chowder says, head cocked. “You okay?”

Dex sighs again and burrows deeper into Chowder’s beanbag chair. “I don’t know,” he says, a little more honest than he expected, and it’s true. The whole thing was supposed to be all fun and games and not at all about the teeny tiny crush he’s maybe still harbouring, but of course that wasn’t how it had worked out. Like Chowder had said. Like Jack had warned.

“It’s super unethical to tell him after one last night, is it?” 

“Dude.” Chowder kicks the beanbag chair. “Super not okay.” They’re quiet for a bit, before Chowder says: “You want a hug?”

“Yes, please.”

They’re really too big to fit both of them on the beanbag chair, but they make it work.   
***

Waiting for a convenient time to tell Jack is more nerve-wracking than he expected it to be, which probably is only another sign that it’s gotten complicated. 

In the end, he drops down next to Jack at lunch four days later and just says: “It’s gotten complicated.”

Jack looks up from his game plan. “You okay?”

Dex shrugs and pokes his pasta. “Will be, I think.”

From the other side of the table, Lardo is following their conversation with sharp eyes. Jack asks if he’s got somebody to talk to, wants somebody to talk to and Dex tells him that he’s got Chowder and they spend the rest of lunch awkwardly talking hockey.

Lardo catches him afterwards and drags him to Annie’s before he can come up with an excuse. Not that she’d believed him anyway, some days he thinks that she knows everyone’s schedules better than they themselves do. Luckily, she gets their order to go, and it isn’t long until he finds himself in Lardo’s room, to go cup of coffee in his hands, Lardo looking intently at him.

“You’re not okay,” she says and he shrugs. Avoids her eyes in favour of staring at his coffee.

“I’m okay-ish,” he offers, along with a small smile. “Really. It just…”

“Got complicated?”

“Yeah.”

“You want a rebound hook-up?”

Dex thinks about it, and finally shakes his head. “Nah, don’t think so. Let you know if I change my mind, though?”

Lardo nods and puts down her coffee. “So. I kind of have a favour to ask.”

Which is how a painting of Dex ends up in Lardo’s art exhibition three weeks later. It’s titled “butt (naked)”.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos, a comment or come scream at me on [tumblr!](https://vanillivilovesreus.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Crush ... Crushed (podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17511098) by [ToughPaperRound](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughPaperRound/pseuds/ToughPaperRound)




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